She's my best friend, best of all best friends. Do you have a best friend too?

So, I've got this best friend. Her name is Katelyn Elizabeth. And before you can ask, Yes, actually she was named after me.




We met about 46 years ago. Wait, no...
We met because of color guard. I was in 10th grade and she was in 8th. We had both signed up to be part of the Blonde Inferno's guard. She signed up because her cousin Ashley had been in color guard. I signed up because I was naive.

Well, truth be told, I didn't even really realize Katelyn existed until the summer after. Once again, we both signed up marching band. One day during a break between sets, a couple of us were having a discussion about near death experiences. Annabanadana had just shared a thrilling recount of the time she was at camp and was crossing the road and a logger truck didn't see her and almost ran her over. There was silence. Katelyn cleared her throat, put her hand in her pocket, pulled her hand back out and said, "I have quarters." I knew at that moment we had to be best friends.




We've done everything together. We've laughed. We've cried. We've gone to Disney World. We've gone to WallyFantasticWorld. We've gone sledding. We've illegally placed a note in a mailbox. We've sung so loud that we couldn't talk the next day. We've led cheers of encouragement. We've led cheers of sarcasm. We've done it all.
We even got to do a duet together (after asking our guard instructor every single day for two years)!


We made a documentary about this boy we love(d). His name is Checkered Shoe Boy. Actually, his name is Sergio. But really, it's Clayton. The title of our film is "Girl Jeans and Checkered Shoes: The Search for Sergio." Most of you have probably never seen it... But we're big in Croatia. I promise.


Sadly, Katelyn and I do not share our love for Sergio any longer.


Katelyn loves a new boy. His name is Tomas. But he's not Latino. He's a hippie. And a skateboarder. And a chimp. I approve (Don't tell Katelyn.).



She also loves the boy that I love, but not nearly in the same way. And they both love me! What are the odds?! They like to be goofy together when I'm not around. I would worry but the short bus stops at my house next.


If our film-making doesn't take off right away, we're going to be rockstars. We even have a band name picked out. MMKJ Peacey Puffs.


This is our tattoo. No, I do not have it. Katelyn has it. I designed it. I am a part of her forever. She went through a lot of pain to get it. What sucks is that if we ever get in a huge fight and declare each other enemies: She'll have to go through another dose of pain just to remove it. :)

We have a Mexican! Actually, we HAD one. Border Patrol came and took her back. Her name is Leticia Sanchez Angeles. She likes to wrap her hair in plastic bags and smell urinals (but not at the same time). At one point she had cornrows and sang. She went by Leticia Keys. You might have heard of her. A lot of people try to sing like her and copy her name. One of her hits was "I Keep On Failin'"

Katelyn made this for me. She knew I needed it.

Because I love her, I decided to reciprocate the photo editing/making. I made this for her because it's absolutely true.

(If you can't read it, it says "When we're old ladies, let's race. I'll give you a head start. You'll need it.")

Even though we call each other some not very nice names (Whoreface, Stupidhead, Beeyotch, Retard, you get the idea), I love her to death. We've come so far in the last 5 years. We never get to see each other anymore but that hasn't changed anything (I hope). We've got plans for our future. We're going to buy a large duplex. Like really large. We're going to marry our boys. Our kids are all going to be BFFs. As soon as one of us gets pregnant, the other better get busy. My son is going to fall in love with her daughter. Her twins are going to be Peanut and Butter and my daughter will be Jelly for Halloween. Speaking of Halloween, every day we're dressing our kids up in costumes. No regular overalls (unless those overalls are accompanied by fairy wings).

Katelyn, I know you're reading this because you're the one who told me to do a post about you and I wrote on your wall to read this.

Just know that I love you. I know we're not the kind of friends that gush about how much we love the other because that's pretty retarded, but just know that I do.

Hi Tom.

P.S. If you want to check out one of our World Famous Videos, check out http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=31190479