So I read somewhere that every time you fall in love, you lose two friends. If that's remotely true, I believe that every time you fall out of love, you lose even more.
Looking back at my past breakups, I've lost way too many friends in the crossfire. I've lost friends to malicious rumors, to other friends, and to no longer being around. It's really heartbreaking. These were really good friends, friends that got me through hard times and were there for me when no one else was. And then the tables turned. I needed these people and they pulled the rug right out from under me. Saying they turned on me might be too harsh, but at the time that's how it felt.
The following is going to seem angry, but I know that in my heart of hearts, there's no reason for me to be upset anymore.
I want to thank the friend who told all my friends that I cheated on the latest ex at that time. If you hadn't done that, I wouldn't have moved on from that stage in my life and found the friends I have now.
I want to thank the friend who married the guy I thought I was going to marry. If you hadn't moved in before I got a chance to rekindle that relationship, I would probably still be pretending to be someone that I never really liked.
I want to thank the friends who stopped talking to me after I left the church/ after they got married . If you would have kept in contact, I would probably still have talked to you and tried to be your friend, but since you didn't I realized that it's the quality of my friends, not the quantity.
If any of the aforementioned friends read this, I'd like to recap that I'm not mad about it anymore. And if you want to catch up, I'd really like that. Thanks.

At least out loud, I won't say I'm in love.

To start off, I don't want to jinx myself, as I've done in the past, by saying that I like this Evan guy more than a little. Because, if you haven't noticed, when I do blog about a guy I'm dating, things inevitably end directly afterwards. So I'm not going to do that.
I'm not going to say that we love each other. I'm not going to say that I love being around him. I'm not going to say that we go together very well. I won't say any of that.
I'm not going to divulge that we never would have met if it wasn't for me lustfully saying "I love you" under my breath as he was walking out the door of Rutters. I'm not going to tell you about how we were never supposed to meet and he was never supposed to fall head over heels in love with me. I would never.
I'm not going mention that I get pissed off when I'm not around him, but the second I'm back with him I'm fine. I'm not going to explain to you how he won't officially ask me out until he can make it "special" or some such nonsense. I just couldn't.
So, maybe I'll blog about those things one day, but that day is definitely not today.