You want somebody, just anybody to lay their hands on your soul tonight

Being raised Mormon and around Mormons really skews someone's perspective of what success is. That may be kind of harsh, but I feel it's the truth, and if you know me at all, you'd know I have this thing where I like the truth.
You may be thinking "Well why do you say that, Marissa?" (but you're probably not because you know that I'm going to tell you anyway).
Mormons and their view of love and marriage is nuts. I'm just now coming to see this, even though I sometimes still find myself with the same views.
I've met so many people who need to find love. Not want, but need. Sometimes we can't distinguish the difference.

It's put into our heads that: (in no particular order)
We need to date and date and date frantically to find The One.
When dating someone exclusively (there's actually no other way to date someone in Mormonese), you must rush the relationship to the point of either uncomfortability or instant love.
When/if you do fall in love, you need to speed along and get engaged as soon as possible.
When/if you become engaged, the engagement must be less than six months.
If you are engaged while you are still in college, you should absolutely get married in college because waiting until you're ready to actually start a life is completely irresponsible.
The less time you spend getting to know the person you are dating/engaged to, the better.
You should and must date as many people as possible, even if you have no interest in marrying them.
Meeting and starting to date someone on the same day is totally acceptable.
Getting engaged to someone you aren't even dating is even more acceptable.
On the first date, you should move way too fast and be way too romantic.
It is not possible to be friends with people of the opposite sex unless you a) are in a relationship already, b) have already tried dating them, c) have been denied by them, d) are currently interested in said person, or e) are interested in someone else (probably a mutual friend).
You cannot date a friend's ex, no matter how briefly they were together.
Always introduce a romantic interest to your parents as soon as you can, that way, you don't have to do it later.
If you're not married or in love or engaged AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, you've failed.

This isn't all I've come up with but I can't remember the rest.
Just so you know, I do still think the same way about some of those things. I'm constantly suggesting to others how to act in the name of love or "love." My best friend is constantly pointing out that not everyone was raised Mormon.
And I have friends who have done one or more of the above. To those friends who read this by chance: I don't want you to be offended, even though you probably are anyways