Hmmm.

It's been a horrible week. Like completely horrible, dreadful, gruesome, repulsive, abonimable, lousy, loathsome, unkind, heinous, odious, and any other thesaurus.com word you feel appropriate.
My boss has been a b-word. One of my co-workers had a freak-out and said I never do anything. I'm losing friends left and right from time, distance, and plain stupidity. I can't muster up the enthusiasm to write to George. My parents think I'm suicidal. I've been completely miserable.
I'm done with putting on this tough, Bring it on, I can take you face. I'm sick of it.
Last night around 10, I was laying in bed, texting Josh, totally restless. I needed to drive. I think best when I'm driving. That's why I hate taking people to institute. That's my time to sit and think.
I went out to my living room and announced, "I'll be back around 12. I'm going for a drive."
My dad asked me if I was sober. My mom asked me what was wrong. Then I started crying. Dad didn't want me to leave because he was afraid I was going to drive off a cliff or something. Mom kept asking what was wrong. I told them I was fine and I was just overwhelmed.

I went to my happy swings. It's a crappy swingset in Lake Meade at the top of the dam. It would be a whole heck of a lot better if they overlooked the dam but they just look at a house or a Verizon shed (depending on which way you're sitting, of course).

Josh showed up to play basketball with two of his friends. He told me I'm not the kind of person to let little things and stupid people bother me. He told me I'm not the kind of person to just sit and pout and not do something about it.
I know I'm not that kind of person. I try not to be her but I don't want to anymore. I can't do anything when there's nothing to do.

Tonight, I sat in my basement and watched Charlotte's Web and cried my eyes out.

The one person I counted on to care couldn't any less.

Thanks.