You're too bad, you're too rude.

You wanna know what? Do ya? Yeh, you bet your asphalt you do.
See, now I bet you were drawn into this blog solely based on that first line (or not). It's threatening, yet seems pretty harmless.
I'm sick of the guys like that. I've dated my share of Bad Boys. Let me tell you: big mistake. Big. Huge.
Bad boys aren't all they're cracked up to be.
"Oh! He smokes!" Yeh, well, there are cooler ways to die than your cells not knowing when to stop growing. (Example: Sting ray barb straight through the heart.)
"Oh! He drinks like a fish!" Yeh, because alcohol makes you really act like an adult.
"Oh! He drives fast/ a crotch rocket/ a fast crotch rocket!" Yeh, let's hope you're not in/on the vehicle when it goes careening out of control. And don't tell me that crotch rocket owners are super safe. You want a safe ride on two wheels? I suggest looking for a guy with a Schwinn. That or a vintage Harley, 'cause you know he's gonna take care of that sucker.
"Oh! He's in/ been to prison!" Yeh, a criminal is really something you want to live with. Sure, he says he's learned his lesson the hard way, but has he really? I mean, he shouldn't have even had to learn a lesson. And if he really did, he probably belongs on a short bus.
"Oh! He's covered in tattoos and piercings!" Yeh, tell me how he looks when he's 76 (if he makes it that far) and that skull and rose chest piece (complete with nipple piercings) he got done when he was in his twenties is down around his belly button.
"Oh! He's into illegal drugs!" Yeh, I shouldn't need to explain that. And if you do need me to explain it, stop reading my blog and head over to the local Planned Parenthood because I have no hope for you.
"Oh! He swears like a sailor!" Yeh, I'm just gonna go ahead and guess that he's not all that bright and doesn't really have much to say if he uses an expletive in every sentence.
"Oh! He wears dark sunglasses all the time!" Yeh, so this guy is one of the following: blind, always hungover, prone to migraines in fluorescent lighting, or hiding a perpetual case of pink eye. The only one out of those that I would find acceptable is blindness.
"Oh! He wears a leather jacket!" Yeh, unless he's portraying Danny Zuko or Uncle Jesse (Full House, not Dukes of Hazzard), no dice. I wouldn't even say yes to Uncle Jesse.
I'd list more, but I'm growing bored.
But as you can see, those are the more physical things. There are the other things: constantly ditching you, talking to you one second and then pretending you don't exist the other, pretty much any mental or physical abuse, etc.
And I know I'm not the only one who thought she could change a Bad Boy. You think you can get him to calm down. Sometimes, for a while you think you've succeeded, but really, you've just gotten used to his ways. The only way I see change for the better happening is extreme behavioral therapy, and maybe a few (legal) prescriptions.

I know no one really reads this, but here's hoping someone does and it helps them see the guy they're dating, thinking about dating, or used to date for what he is. Unless he's not a bad boy. Then you're fine.

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

I've come to realize that guys must have all taken some secret class in middle school or something to teach them how to (poorly) get girls. Or they all have this little hand book or something that tells them what to say. Or they hold a weekly (maybe monthly) meeting where they say "Hey, this line totally worked for me! I bet it'll work for you too!"
I mean, really. Every guy I've dated has used the exact same line on me (and for some unknown reason I still dated them). It goes something along the lines of "I've never met another girl like you." Gag me with a fork.
I just picked up on their little trick about three beaus ago. One guy said it to me and I instantly had aforementioned epiphany. I called him out and he went on to further explain how I was different: how I'm insecure about who I am but I still stand strong; how I know I'm beautiful; how I deserve better than any guy has ever treated me; etc and etc. After we broke up, I reread that text (yeah, I saved it) (yeah, the fact that it was a text should have been my first tip-off) and realized he had made a generalization about every single girl in the entire world.
And I guarantee every girl has heard or will hear that there's no other girl like her. Well, duh. Thanks for pointing out the obvious. Everyone is different, just like everyone else. None of us are made the same, so of course you've never met anyone else like me.
I don't know why they feel the need to say it. I'm guessing that line is in the "Seal the Deal" chapter. I dunno. But since my explosion of knowledge, I feel the need to call them out on it (and I encourage you to do it as well). And I do love it when they try to rationalize their statement. It shows that they're in it to win it.
So, in closing, remember that you are an individual, though you need no help remembering that when a flirty guy tells you straight up.
But, in all actuality, I'm just like every other little girl.