These shoes rule. These shoes suck!

My first blog using my NewSuperCoolBlogBasket is about.... drumroll, please: Shoes. And I know, you're probably thinking, what the hello do shoes have to do with dating? Well, read on and you'll find out, my little impatient ones.
This is one of the weirdest blog prompts I came up with, but a good one nonetheless, because I developed a theory, as you will come to find out.
A man's shoes say a lot about him. They can usually tell you the kind of guy you're dealing with, based on his "everyday" footwear (what he would wear on a leisurely trip to the grocery store, or say, the post office). The following lists the shoe type and what you might find out about the fellow.
Dirty work boots- This man is obviously a hard worker. He works hard all day & can probably doesn't take the time to relax until well after dinnertime. You can usually count on him to bring home a good amount of bacon.
Pristine work boots- This is one I'd run from. If he's sporting Timberlands that are debris free, I can guarantee he doesn't know what a tough job is but he swears up and down that he sweats all day. Probably because he stands in front of the fry dump all day.
Sneakers- Although I should have a good opinion about a guy wearing his Nikes out, I don't. Sneakers should only be worn in the gym/during physical fitness, around the house for some reason, or if your job requires it. Maybe I just think this because I have some unexplainable vendetta against sneakers. But if you do see a guy wearing them, I can't really help you but to advise you to take cues from his other clothing and the amount of visible sweat.
Cowboy boots- One of my favorites because there are two extremes concerning cowboy boots. To make sure that he's an authentic cowboy (or close enough to not worry), ask yourself two questions: 1.) Are they dirty or rather scuffed? 2.) Are they an unnatural color of leather (anything not brown or blackish)? If you answered yes to the first and no to the second, proceed with slight caution. I only say that because you must once again read the clues given by the rest of his attire and accessories. Examples: Are his jeans naturally worn looking? Good sign. Does he have a belt buckle the size of a dinner plate that reads "Bodacious?" Bad sign. Are there spurs on his boots that jingle every time he walks and reflect all light that hits them? Bad sign.
Converse- This guy is a dork. Don't even argue with some excuse like "He's got the body of a Greek god! He models for Abercrombie!" I promise you: he's a dork. Which, in my opinion, is a good thing. He's probably fun to be around and likes to be comfortable. Like all shoes, check the wear-n-tear. If the white is actually WHITE, this guy is most likely trying too hard. That is, unless they're new shoes. You might want to ask to see if that's the case. Also, take note of the color. If they're classic black and white, he's down to earth. If they're any other color, he might like the classics, just his way.
Skate shoes- You know the ones I'm talking about. Etnies, DC, and the like. As much as I love a skaterboy, that's not someone I would want to settle down with. A guy who always wears skate shoes probably hasn't reached a good level of maturity. Check back in three years. If he's still wearin' 'em, just give up.
Sandals- Truthfully, I can dig when a guy wears sandals. But every day might be over kill. Unless you live on a beach. Which my town is not, so there's no excuse. When it is okay to wear sandals: Barbecues, before and after swimming, around the house, etc. To paraphrase something Demetri Martin says, you don't want to get chased in flipflops. So, if a guy does wear them constantly, he may be impractical. Also, most guys' feet are not pretty, so take note of this. Also, does he seem to be a hippie? This is one exception that you can take or leave.
I have a few more, but this post has gotten kind of long and I'm running out of original, non-repetitive things to say, so I'll close now.
Yes.

'Cause you like me too much and I like you

So, the other day, I was feeling creative. I try to be more creative, more often, but that doesn't happen.

So, what did I do with my creativity? Well, hold on and I'll tell you. Wait for it... Wait for it... I made a Blog Prompt Jar Box Basket. To sum it up, it's a bunch of ideas for me to blog about.

It took forever. Okay, a couple hours. It would have been easier if I didn't stick to one theme. What is that theme, you ask. Love, romance, dating, relationships. All that junk. And you're probably thinking "What the hell does she know about any of that? And if she does know anything, it's obviously the wrong stuff, because she's single. Who wants to hear about relationships and dating advice from someone who can't keep a boyfriend?" Well, that's kinda mean, dontcha think? I don't really consider it to be advice. I consider what I say to be opinions and what I've learned about the L word in the almost 22 years I've been alive. And if you don't want to read about what I have to say, you must be confused because you're reading a blog...

In other news, it's my best friend's day of birth. She's 20 now. Wow. That makes me feel old, even though she's only two years younger than me. I can't believe we're grown-ups now. How does this happen??



And because she's my best friend, she'll probably read this, so I thought I'd post the most flattering picture of us. And just so you know, BEEF, I love you. You're the best friend I could ever ask for. That's the corniest I'm going to be.

I can feel his approach like the fire in my blood

Recently, I was asked what I'm "looking for in a man." I didn't really know what to say besides the generic stuff like "good sense of humor" and "reliable" and "hasn't done drugs in the last six years." Why? Because I never really took the time to think on it that much. I mean, don't get me wrong: I had ideas and guidelines,  but never had the specifics for my Perfect Man. So, if the person who asked reads this, here ya go. To all others who read this, keep an eye out for this guy and let me know where he is. Like all my lists, these are in no particular order.

• Someone who REALLY loves soup, because that's my specialty.
• Someone who can cook for himself if necessary, and who wouldn't mind cooking for me as well from time to time.
• Someone who I can look up to, literally and figuratively.
• Someone who loves and respects his mother but doesn't have to run to her for every tiny thing.
• Someone who can understand that sometimes I can be a little irrational but can totally tolerate it.
• Someone who can bear my humor with all of its corny and sarcastic glory.
• Someone who finds my quirks endearing and has a few of his own.
• Someone who knows what they want in life even though I'm still working on that myself.
• Someone who's not embarrassed when I (poorly) break out into song and might even join in. Unless he knows it's a powerful solo meant for only one voice.
• Someone who's not afraid of flaws.
• Someone who loves my friends a little less than I do and has friends that I can love as well.
• Someone who can appreciate my eccentric taste in fashion and decorating styles.
• Someone who sleeps on the left side of the bed or is willing to because I will not.
• Someone who doesn't like blankets or likes having their own because I need to be wrapped up in my own.
• Someone who doesn't care that I can't take a serious photo to save my life.
• Someone who's a lefty, although this isn't an absolute necessity.
• Someone who doesn't mind me correcting their grammar or who already has adequate grammar and rarely (or never) needs corrected.
• Someone who I can make fun of and who can make fun of me (to an extent).
• Someone who knows that when I say I hate surprises, I'm lying a little.
• Someone who needs a menagerie of animals (and maybe a child or two) in their life.
• Someone who doesn't care that I love all (or most) things Disney.
• Someone who wouldn't mind living in an Airstream trailer for a few years while we travel around the U.S.
• Someone who assists me in finding happiness, no matter where or what it might be.
• Someone who embraces my argumentative side.
• Someone who is always ready with a clever (but not hurtful) comeback.
• Someone who will simultaneously groan at and applaud my punniness.
• Someone who will not be offended by me, especially when that's what I want.
• Someone who understands I am a woman and realizes that it's very likely that I'll be in a pretty pissy mood every 28ish days.
• Someone who can accept that I have different levels of beauty from day to day or someone who can easily disguise their disgust.
• Someone who can respect that sweatpants are a staple part of my existence.
• Someone who can eat sushi one day and then something artery clogging the next.
• Someone who knows it's imperative that I have seventy different shampoos in the shower and that he can use the cheapo bulk ones or get his own.
• Someone who doesn't care if I don't shave my legs every day because sometimes I don't care and/or I'm lazy.
• Someone who knows that the Chapstik/lip balm in the check-out lane at Walmart is targeted at me and I must buy one.
• Someone who is always in search of new music. Or old music he's never heard.
• Someone who can accept my love of almost all beverages and sometimes humor it.
• Someone who loves the outdoors and can force me outside.
• Someone who doesn't snore. Plain and simple.
• Someone who can go out with the guys when he needs to and not worry about me surviving without him for a short amount of time (hint: I will).
• Someone who knows I need time for me every so often.
• Someone who will text me something stupid, even if I'm sitting right next to him.
• Someone who doesn't mind that I tend to think waaay too much.
• Someone who accepts my unconventional sleeping habits and schedules.
• Most of all, someone who can be my best friend.

You want somebody, just anybody to lay their hands on your soul tonight

Being raised Mormon and around Mormons really skews someone's perspective of what success is. That may be kind of harsh, but I feel it's the truth, and if you know me at all, you'd know I have this thing where I like the truth.
You may be thinking "Well why do you say that, Marissa?" (but you're probably not because you know that I'm going to tell you anyway).
Mormons and their view of love and marriage is nuts. I'm just now coming to see this, even though I sometimes still find myself with the same views.
I've met so many people who need to find love. Not want, but need. Sometimes we can't distinguish the difference.

It's put into our heads that: (in no particular order)
We need to date and date and date frantically to find The One.
When dating someone exclusively (there's actually no other way to date someone in Mormonese), you must rush the relationship to the point of either uncomfortability or instant love.
When/if you do fall in love, you need to speed along and get engaged as soon as possible.
When/if you become engaged, the engagement must be less than six months.
If you are engaged while you are still in college, you should absolutely get married in college because waiting until you're ready to actually start a life is completely irresponsible.
The less time you spend getting to know the person you are dating/engaged to, the better.
You should and must date as many people as possible, even if you have no interest in marrying them.
Meeting and starting to date someone on the same day is totally acceptable.
Getting engaged to someone you aren't even dating is even more acceptable.
On the first date, you should move way too fast and be way too romantic.
It is not possible to be friends with people of the opposite sex unless you a) are in a relationship already, b) have already tried dating them, c) have been denied by them, d) are currently interested in said person, or e) are interested in someone else (probably a mutual friend).
You cannot date a friend's ex, no matter how briefly they were together.
Always introduce a romantic interest to your parents as soon as you can, that way, you don't have to do it later.
If you're not married or in love or engaged AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, you've failed.

This isn't all I've come up with but I can't remember the rest.
Just so you know, I do still think the same way about some of those things. I'm constantly suggesting to others how to act in the name of love or "love." My best friend is constantly pointing out that not everyone was raised Mormon.
And I have friends who have done one or more of the above. To those friends who read this by chance: I don't want you to be offended, even though you probably are anyways

He gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club.

I wanted to make this post very honest and angry and blunt. But I can't do that. I wanted to call out the people who have been the most artificial and self-righteous. But I won't. I wanted to let words that have been building up for weeks rush out the only way they could. But they can't. I wanted people to read this and have some kind of revelation (even a minuscule one) and change the way they treat me and the way they treat themselves. But they wouldn't.
I can't because my ire is based on the ignorance of others. Even if they believe that they know better, they don't know it all. Even if they think they do. And I don't want to waste too much time on the people who wouldn't waste any on me.
I won't because that wouldn't be fair to them. Just because only a few people read this, it doesn't mean that no one does. And to "publically" accost someone just isn't as classy as I want to be.
They can't because what I would want to say just won't orchestrate itself in any way that would make sense. If you've ever been this irritated, you would know how I feel.
They wouldn't because people don't like to be told that they're wrong. I know. I'm a person too, in case you've forgotten.

This post wasn't meant to benefit anyone. And if I had to say it was, I'd say it was for me. Because getting my feelings out there is what I have to do sometimes. Even if they're not all that specific.