I can make the buildings dance. Whole cities move because of me.

So, I've got these photos hanging all over my walls. It kind of makes me look like a stalker.... But it's cool: 46% is me, 50% is George Raymond Wolf, and everything in between is the other cool kids in my life (like, two of them, at least) and George Raymond's mission people. But yeh... They're slowly falling off the walls because I don't want make wholes in the paper I call walls AND apparently I don't know how to work that blue tackystuff.
Speaking of pictures, I need to start taking more. Ten years from now, I'm going to be sitting in my rocker (I'll be 30, and yes, I'll be sitting in a rocking chair because it's good for your abs if you do it the right way) and thinking, "Oh, I don't remember much about February 2010. Let me look at my albums that are organized chronologically to refresh my memory." So I'll pull out the first album labeled 2010 and the first photo in the book will be from May or June and I will think "Why didn't I take more pictures? Now I'm not quite sure what I was doing at that time. I could have been in the circus and I don't even know it." So, yes. I need to take more pictures. I've only taken, like, 7 pictures since December and 5 of them are on my phone.
The dog next door will not stop barking. I don't even know why it started. There's probably a burglar/rapist lurking outside my window. Or the dog is just retarded.
I do feel bad for the dog. It barks a lot, actually. The owners keep it in a kennel in the very back corner of their property, next to our pasture. During a chance meeting with the puppy (not really a puppy... all dogs are puppies to me), I found out he or she is really quite nice. It barks because it doesn't get attention, I'm sure. The owners feed it him/her and all, and I guess the pay attention to it somewhat, but still. If you can't give it the attention it needs, you might as well not even have the dog. I dunno. Just me.
So, I read a spoof on the Twilight books, Nightlight. It wasn't as funny as I thought it would be. It was kind of annoying, really. Like, I was expecting it to be.... uh, spoofier? And I just kept reading, thinking that I couldn't stop reading because what if I stopped right before the best part of the book and I loved it and it changed my life and stuff? Yeh, well, let me tell ya, that didn't happen. Maybe I just don't have a sense of humor.
Speaking of humor, none of the old people understand that a twenty year old girl can be funny. Like really. Apparently I'm not allowed to have dry humor or be sarcastic. Because all us whippersnappers are serious and mean all the time. They just look at me like, You were born yesterday. Or at least seventy years after me, so that means you have no knowledge of anything. And why are you lifting hay bales and caring for the horses?? Don't you know that's not women's work? Go scrub floors or darn socks. I hate technology.
Oh old people. I'm going to have dementia or alzheimers when I'm old. Hopefully I'm not violent. That would be tragic. Though I probably couldn't hurt anyone (unless I decide to follow my dreams of becoming a bodybuilder).
If you didn't take my advice via my FB status, go rent New York, I Love You. It's amazing. Life-changing. It's rated R (gasp) but I swear that your eyes won't bleed and Satan won't come out of the television (just guessing, though). But seriously, it's sooooo good. A ton of big names are in it. And yeh, it's kind of loveydovey, but not the loveydovey that makes cynics vomit. It's just kind of true love. I don't know how else to describe it. I know of one person that probably shouldn't watch it. That's about it. Go watch it.
Kristen Bell is my idol. I really do admire her. I don't even know what else to say about her. She's hilarious and bubbly and short. She was brilliant in Veronica Mars and I've wept every day since it was cancelled. I hope to be like her some day (i.e. famous and naturally blonde).
The dog stopped barking

Well, I think this posting of blog is done. It was more of a rant, but c'est la vie.


No wait, just kidding, he or she is barking again. And some other dog has joined in.

Just kidding again. All is silent.
creepy

Near. Far. Wherever you are.

So, I've got this fairy tale kind of love. Sounds like a stretch, I know.

I met my Prince Charming long, long ago when we were just little, far before he was a prince or even charming and I was still an ugly duckling.

Years had gone by without one seeing the other and by coincidence, we bump into each other. There is no attraction (as far as I know) but there is friendship.

Even more years go by and under some influence of friends, we realize how perfect we are for each other.

We fall nauseatingly in love, complete with cute little birdies and cheesy soundtrack.

We must be separated from each other. He must go thousands of miles away on an adventure of the unknown and I must stay home.

He will come home. There will be a tearful reunion. We will confess our undying love for one another.

And we will live happily ever after.

She's my best friend, best of all best friends. Do you have a best friend too?

So, I've got this best friend. Her name is Katelyn Elizabeth. And before you can ask, Yes, actually she was named after me.




We met about 46 years ago. Wait, no...
We met because of color guard. I was in 10th grade and she was in 8th. We had both signed up to be part of the Blonde Inferno's guard. She signed up because her cousin Ashley had been in color guard. I signed up because I was naive.

Well, truth be told, I didn't even really realize Katelyn existed until the summer after. Once again, we both signed up marching band. One day during a break between sets, a couple of us were having a discussion about near death experiences. Annabanadana had just shared a thrilling recount of the time she was at camp and was crossing the road and a logger truck didn't see her and almost ran her over. There was silence. Katelyn cleared her throat, put her hand in her pocket, pulled her hand back out and said, "I have quarters." I knew at that moment we had to be best friends.




We've done everything together. We've laughed. We've cried. We've gone to Disney World. We've gone to WallyFantasticWorld. We've gone sledding. We've illegally placed a note in a mailbox. We've sung so loud that we couldn't talk the next day. We've led cheers of encouragement. We've led cheers of sarcasm. We've done it all.
We even got to do a duet together (after asking our guard instructor every single day for two years)!


We made a documentary about this boy we love(d). His name is Checkered Shoe Boy. Actually, his name is Sergio. But really, it's Clayton. The title of our film is "Girl Jeans and Checkered Shoes: The Search for Sergio." Most of you have probably never seen it... But we're big in Croatia. I promise.


Sadly, Katelyn and I do not share our love for Sergio any longer.


Katelyn loves a new boy. His name is Tomas. But he's not Latino. He's a hippie. And a skateboarder. And a chimp. I approve (Don't tell Katelyn.).



She also loves the boy that I love, but not nearly in the same way. And they both love me! What are the odds?! They like to be goofy together when I'm not around. I would worry but the short bus stops at my house next.


If our film-making doesn't take off right away, we're going to be rockstars. We even have a band name picked out. MMKJ Peacey Puffs.


This is our tattoo. No, I do not have it. Katelyn has it. I designed it. I am a part of her forever. She went through a lot of pain to get it. What sucks is that if we ever get in a huge fight and declare each other enemies: She'll have to go through another dose of pain just to remove it. :)

We have a Mexican! Actually, we HAD one. Border Patrol came and took her back. Her name is Leticia Sanchez Angeles. She likes to wrap her hair in plastic bags and smell urinals (but not at the same time). At one point she had cornrows and sang. She went by Leticia Keys. You might have heard of her. A lot of people try to sing like her and copy her name. One of her hits was "I Keep On Failin'"

Katelyn made this for me. She knew I needed it.

Because I love her, I decided to reciprocate the photo editing/making. I made this for her because it's absolutely true.

(If you can't read it, it says "When we're old ladies, let's race. I'll give you a head start. You'll need it.")

Even though we call each other some not very nice names (Whoreface, Stupidhead, Beeyotch, Retard, you get the idea), I love her to death. We've come so far in the last 5 years. We never get to see each other anymore but that hasn't changed anything (I hope). We've got plans for our future. We're going to buy a large duplex. Like really large. We're going to marry our boys. Our kids are all going to be BFFs. As soon as one of us gets pregnant, the other better get busy. My son is going to fall in love with her daughter. Her twins are going to be Peanut and Butter and my daughter will be Jelly for Halloween. Speaking of Halloween, every day we're dressing our kids up in costumes. No regular overalls (unless those overalls are accompanied by fairy wings).

Katelyn, I know you're reading this because you're the one who told me to do a post about you and I wrote on your wall to read this.

Just know that I love you. I know we're not the kind of friends that gush about how much we love the other because that's pretty retarded, but just know that I do.

Hi Tom.

P.S. If you want to check out one of our World Famous Videos, check out http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=31190479