You've got my heart in chains

My name is Marissa and I am a hoarder. I will be the first to admit it. No, I'm not like the crazy people that have rooms full of newspapers and TLC comes in and cleans out the house and finds twelve dead cats under the sofa. I'm a little less severe (for now). What do I hoard? Well, books, for one. Clothes. Pointless trinkets like Lego people and Emo Crys Wild Grinders figurines. Magazines. Pillows. Tears of the people who have crossed me.
Okay, so perhaps I don't technically hoard those things, but I do have more than enough of all of them (minus the tears [maybe]). What I really stockpile is relationships.
I've realized over the last week or two that I have so many past relationships that I refuse to let go of. Not okay. I don't know why I need to keep them around. It's not like I'm going to use them. They're doing me no good. If anything, they're doing me harm. I feel that because of these relationships, I don't get to connect with potential guys.
I would say that half of my relationships, most of which had ended very poorly on both parts, are in the vault of memories that I don't have the key to and that is just fine and dandy with me. Then there's the other half. The half that didn't end badly, but rather, just ended. They ended with no hard feelings. But I think the thing about them is that they ended in feelings of hope. Like maybe we hoped things would work out. That kind of thing.
Due to this fact, I am still friends with these people. And they're always going to have a spot in my heart, very much like the other guys I've dated. But The Spot is much more luxurious and swank than The Vault. While The Vault has a kind of temperamental climate, ranging from tepid to chilly, with very little or no conversation, The Spot is a steadily warm, friendly atmosphere with plenty to drink, delicious diner food, open arms, witty banter, regular texting, exclusive hang out time, and just generally too much flirting. Hopefully, at this point, you can see how this may be a problem, when three or four guys are taking up this space.
Why should these guys get special privileges? Answer: they shouldn't. Yes, yes, they're great friends. There is no denying that. But why should I let them roost in The Spot and not let someone new in? Their invitations have obviously run out, yet I treat them as honored guests. No more!
I've decided that these guys need to be evicted. No, not out of my heart. They're good guys and deserve a place somewhere. Click this. See the tan space around the outside? Those are the outer walls of my heart. The Epicardium, if you will. Doesn't that sound like a fun place?? Boys, you can go there. Help protect my heart. Keep it safe. See everything that's blue and red? That's The Spot and off limits unless I give you a special pass. If you're caught sneaking in, I'll kill you. JK. But no really. They shouldn't even try.
I'm tired of stringing people along and being strung along. It's just gotten out of hand and it needs to stop and this is the only way I can think of to do it. I do love my boys, but it's not fair to anyone for me to wait around for nothing and to make them wait around for the same thing. If they don't want to stick around, that's fine. I wouldn't blame them.
So in conclusion, I guess you could say I'm still hoarding. I'm just transporting all my baggage to a storage facility and keeping it there. But I plan on making regular trips to make sure everything's in good condition. Because that's what crazy people do.