Run your mouth more than anyone I've ever known

I just read a blog post by a used-to-be friend saying that I was her enemy. The whole post was about me and how horrible of a person I am and how I'm mean to everyone and how I stab everyone in the back. Dude, completely dead-on.
Not.
This one goes out to you, Brittni.
I won't lie, I am mean to everyone. I don't mean it in a hurtful way, I mean it in a "I don't really care what you think of me" way.
But calling me a backstabber? That's truly the gem of the post. I never once stabbed you in the back. I don't know if I ever purposely stabbed ANYONE in the back. You wanna talk about backstabbing? How about telling people that I'm a whore? How about spreading around that I cheat on all my boyfriends? How about telling my other friends that I'm a "horrible person" to the point where I'm alienated? How about denying all the things that multiple people have told me you said about me? How about that?
I don't know how I ever, EVER treated you badly, or rather, worse than others.
That time when you cleaned my house WHEN I TOLD YOU NOT TO while I was at work and then you insisted that I bring you a pizza to thank you? No. I told you not to. When I saw you did it anyways, I thanked you. But I'm not buying you a pizza when we had no agreement. I guess you could construe that as mean, but you I see it as some kind of contractual entrapment, and that was just dumb of you.
And what people are you closer to that I also apparently hurt while we were, as you put it, "friends?" Because frankly, you were one of the only people I ever talked to back then. Is it your exboyfriend? Ha. Probably not. Because really, he's the only person I can even imagine "hurting" way back when, but he and I are cool and I know that you two certainly aren't.
And you're saying that people told you that you weren't a mean person when we were together? Hilarious. Because as I recall, many people told you that you were a (pardon my language) bitch when we were together. Not because of me, because, really, we were kind of inseparable, but because you felt the need to act like you were in some kind of control of everyone.
So you've grown from the experience of our friendship? God, I sure hope so. Because when we were friends,  you were the rudest, most abrasive, most obnoxious person I had ever had the delight to be acquainted with.
But you still can't spell "per se."
Oh, and when your "enemy" says hello to you in passing, you say it back. You don't roll your eyes and act like they don't exist.
And just so you know, you're not my enemy. I don't even really care about you, besides the fact that you have nothing courteous to say to or about me, even though we'd been friends for a couple years. My enemy is the spread of unhappiness. Wait, yeah, I guess that would make you my enemy. :)



So, just so everyone knows, I'm aware that the blog post that I mentioned was likely posted knowing I would probably see it and have an adverse reaction. You're welcome. I don't like proving people wrong.