Stuck in 1863

If I'm visiting your state and you know it, you can ask me what state I'm from, but not the town. Because will give you this reply:
"Well, I live in Reading Township, but my address says East Berlin. But if you've never lived in Adams County or a surrounding county, you've probably never heard of it. So, I'm just gonna say Gettysburg, since everyone's heard of Gettysburg. But that's still kind of small and no one ever knows where that is. So let's go with Harrisburg. That's the capital and I'm only an hourish away from it. But you probably still aren't very familiar with the geography of Pennsylvania. So I'm just gonna tell you Philly. Because we're about 45 minutes closer to there than Pittsburgh. And I know it's two hours away from where I really live, but you're probably more likely to have heard of AND know where Philly is. And if you don't, I'm from New York City."
That's something that just really annoys me. The only way it's acceptable to ask the town or general area of where someone else lives is if you say "Oh! I used to live in _name of town_! Is that close to where you're from?" or "My mother (or someone else you know very well) lives there. Where about?"
And the people that say "Oh really? Where?" They really bother me. I know they don't mean it in the same context, but it just sounds like they're testing me, that I'm not really from PA.
And I know I do it sometimes. Like Florida. That's the only place I'm ever interested in knowing where someone lives. 'Cause chances are, I've been there numerous times. And I live there occasionally. So, see? I'm acceptable.

A post on hate.

Let's get something straight.
I don't hate very many people. Chances are, if you think that I hate you, I probably don't. I probably just have high distaste for you.
I don't hate old friends. I don't hate exes (or wives and/or girlfriends of exes). I don't hate the stupid customers who complain about not having coffee made, even though I say that I do.
And let's get another thing straight.
If you hate me, you probably are a very confused person. Now, I don't mean that in a conceited way. I just mean, that I don't relish in people abhorring me. I don't wake up in the morning, stretch, and then say, "Gee whiz, today would be a great day for malevolence." I promise.
So, to the ex-friends that hate me, I'm sorry that you think that you need to do that to feel that the end of our relations is justified in some negative way.
To the exes, there's probably a reason (or many) that we didn't end up together. You should be happy that we're not together.
And to the significant others of exes... Really. You hate me (or at least, pretend to)?... No offense but I feel that you are the most confused of all. I'm honestly happy that you are able to fulfill what I couldn't with my ex. The only reason that I can see that you should hate me is that you feel that you don't stack up to what I once was to him. And if that's the case, maybe you should rethink either your hatred for me or your relationship with him. But you probably don't want my advice.

Now that I've gotten that off my chest, let's all have a Merry Christmas and a fantastic New Year. I know I will.

Where have all the cowboys gone?

When I was little, I never really imagined where I would be. I never really planned my future out. I never had dreams of getting married (to someone other than JTT), raising children (not just puppies and kittens and foals), having career, or ever really growing up. I was always in the right here, right now. I just wanted to get through my day and play with my goats.
Here I am, fifteen years later, and I still feel just as nonchalant about my future. I would love to get married someday, sure, but today just doesn't feel like the day and tomorrow isn't looking so great either.
Every now and again I see the cutest toddler and I think, Gee whiz, my kids are going to me three times as cute as that kid, at least. And then a minute later I see some mom with a two year-old and a baby and they're both screaming and she's got a somewhat deranged look in her eye and I think, Gee whiz, I'm so glad that I'm nowhere near having kids.
And let's be realistic: I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. One day I want to be a librarian, the next a wedding planner, later a stuntwoman, and by Saturday I'm completely convinced I'll be a veterinarian assistant on a horse farm.
I wish I could mentally grow up. I guess I have slowly. I've been in serious relationships. I've had the same job for two and a half years.
I just wish I could go to NeverNeverLand. Seriously. Captain Hook would be cake.

Hold on there, Thorgeous

Hi there. It's been a while. So much has happened in the more than a month since I last posted. Ok, not really THAT much, but still.
Updates:
I've got a boyfriend. His name's Caleb and he's pretty darn cool.
George is no longer in the (or any) picture when it comes to the Book of Marissa.
I finished (mostly) my Halloween costume. It's amazing. Seriously. Like, "How could I possibly create something so spectacular?!"
So, yeh. That's a poor list compared to the list I had in my head, but really, I can't think of anything else that's nearly as major.

So, Caleb. I'll tell you the story, because I know everyone likes to hear the story of how a couple met. Here goes: We rode the same bus for a couple years in middle school. I don't think we ever talked. Like, ever. Not even in high school or the years following. Then some time last month, I was working out at Planet Fitness with my bestest friend and I saw Caleb and one of his comrades lifting together. I thought nothing of it because I was constantly seeing fellow Bermudian alumni at PF because it's cheap and so are we. Well, I got home and had a Facebook friend request from him and thought "Oh, what a coincidence!" and then I saw that he had sent it AFTER we saw each other. So, once again, I thought nothing of it. Then he IM'd me and we started texting regularly. And then we started hanging out. And, tada! Here we are. What a fun story, right?

So, I would like a chandelier. I need something just as tacky as I feel. I don't want it for my room now. I need it for my future home. So, if you just happen to have a spare chandelier just lying around, I would really appreciate the donation. Thanksomuch.

I'm not sure if you know this, but I want to be a pinup girl. Thought I'd share that little tidbit of info with you.

Well, I think I've shared enough for the time being. Hopefully I'm not a stranger now as much as I have been.

P.S. I need to get the new Tinker Bell movie.

Yes.

Damn your sweet memory

I don't know what I'm doing. If you were ever under the impression that I had the slightest clue, you were either horribly mistaken or easily fooled. Seriously.
One second I've got hopes and dreams for this beautiful future with a missionary in San Jose and then hours later I'm knowingly ruining any of those chances by having delusions of grandeur about someone here. I
I know it's going to get me in trouble sooner or later even though it already has numerous times.
I blame it on not writing anymore. I always knew what I was going to do with my life when I would write everything down. And even if I wasn't quite sure, I would still write about what I didn't know and that made everything feel a little simpler.
I haven't written beautiful words in what seems like a literal eternity. The closest thing I've gotten to it: I was falling asleep the other day thinking about how a friend was sick and losing her voice. And then I came up with this quote/mantra. "You can lose your mind, your marbles, and your balance but you should never lose your voice." As in, you can physically lose your voice, but you should never lose your opinion. Ya meen?
As per usual, I forgot the mind-blowing purpose of this post. And will now end on an awkward note.

This is where I am

I need to blog more. I don't do it nearly enough anymore. It's just that there are so many things that I want to say, but I know most of them could get me in trouble with numerous people.

I always thought I had good karma. Ok, maybe not GOOD karma, but I knew it certainly wasn't bad. Well, I'm finding out that bad karma can be instant. Like, I do one questionably not nice thing and BAM! I get punched in the face with gaiety and retardation in less than 5 hours. I prefer my unbiased karma.

I can't believe this year is almost half over. I feel like I've completed nothing. This happens, I guess.

I forgot all that I wanted/could say. Maybe next time, eh?

Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor

So I'm packing up two years of my life. Everything that has to do with George. It's not that I want it out of my life. I just can't look at it right now.
I don't even want to be home a lot. Everything reminds me of him and I don't want that. As long as I'm out or with friends, it's all hidden away. It's a lot easier that way.

I need to get some new FChucks. Fake Chucks, if you are were unaware. You know, kind of like Frada is fake Prada (a shout out to Taylor Buerger who coined the term since you can't really omit the "ch" and sound polite). But yes. I need some more. My pink ones are on their last leg (Buh-dum-chh [think comedian cymbal hit]). They've turned a not-so-pleasant shade of extra-orange salmon. I'd like to wash them but that might ruin the feathers. I dunno. I'll give it a go, perhaps. And my rainbow ones are worn every day at work. I just need another pair to share some of the work.

If anyone wants to volunteer to give me a back massage, I will take it, gladly. All my muscles ache. Probably because I have such poor posture. And I stand all day.

I work 10 hours tomorrow. I don't even know if whoever scheduled me realizes this. I have to be at work at 6am and I'm not going to be able to relax until I get to institute at 7pm and I won't get to bed until 12ish. Aaaaauuuggh!